Strides

Life takes strange strides and along all the efforts of balancing yourself, you constantly keep moulding yourself. You then start judging your decisions from the past and find how dumb you could have been. Is it just life or even the ones in them, ones who have stayed long, ones with the guest appearances, ones who didn’t want to be there but of course your stupid decisions in the past made you cling to them, contribute equally to who you are today?

Why would you get peace being alone, when once the same silence killed you. Or is it that the ones who made all the babble are no longer there and you can’t actually find anyone who could please you with all the noise. Because now you realise not all noise around you is pleasant. Well being the extrovert that you are, you will try and put in efforts to bring back the pleasantness, which will only add up to the stupid decisions you will regret later.

Certain guest appearances made in our life by some strangers, (whom in future you shall call close friends with least or no contact) make the most impact in our life. Why do we not have the courage to make them stay? Why do not keep them close to us if they mean so much to us? With so many stupid decisions made already why is it so difficult to control yourself from making more.

So many thoughts at the end of the conclude to nothing. We would still manage to put ourselves into meaningless conversations and land ourselves again pleasing people around us. Most of us just forget that life is to be lived and not just survived. Making choices that make you happy should not be so difficult, but we put in our heart and soul and mess up things. Happiness is not to be found but created by you for you.

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She!

She had to leave, trying to tug in the entire universe into her newly bought luggage bags. She wished if she could just take anything and everything she saw around her, her room, her home, her parents, her siblings, her friends…. Or the friend! The confusion was killing her. It was her decision to be the obedient one. Then why is it so difficult to walk on the path that she had been planning on. Her heart just did not want to follow her thoughts and there she found herself in a situation so difficult she felt the immense pain in her throat that kept coming every time she tried not to let those tears fall down. All efforts in vain as she could feel her eyes no longer had the strength to hold back those memories.

But she was the strong girl her parents were proud of her, she could not think of anything going wrong at this moment. She was always guided with what is right and what is wrong, she had been thought how to behave. When she always thought, she was to be the first one to give in and make sure that everyone around her is happy, someone for the first time asked her how she felt, asked her if she wanted to do it her way, told her there is no right and no wrong, taught her to listen to what the little voices inside her kept saying. She initially thought him to be a cheesy lame fellow who watched too many Sharukh Khan movies but slowly she created with him a universe of their own. She wanted to treasure every little moment that he gifted her. It was so precious that she never even shared her thoughts about him to anyone. She wanted all for herself as she felt others would not understand the beauty of what they shared.

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When not with him she would gather all the incidents and plan about how to narrate it to him and explain of how she feels about it all and when with him she would just remain calm and listen to everything that he has to tell her. He wonderfully explained of how life was so beautiful to be lived each day at a time, to take each step with complete joy as you might not have them tomorrow, to be aware of your breath, your heart beat, how your skin can recognize hot from cold, how your eyes can see the different colors. That day she ran home, she was happy she was tired, she could feel her heart beat so loud, her lungs wanted to suck all the oxygen in just one time, her temperature had risen and she enjoyed all this and was wonder stuck of how she never experienced them ever before.

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But today she had to go and tell him that she would not be able to meet him and that she might not return for a long time. On her way she was piling up thoughts about how to tell him, what he has been to her, about how he has helped her see a completely new world, how she feels that he is everything to her. She had been trying to do this for the past one week, but as usual she walked all the way, sat with him and listened to all that he had to say. On her way back she wondered if she would ever be able to see things like he helped her to. He taught her to love, to live, to enjoy and be happy, but did not teach her to do all of it all by herself.

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That day she carried a little of him with her and promised herself to see the world through his eyes. She tried being joyful and being happy within herself, she continued packing, made sure she had picked up every little thing she owns, that was dear to her. Her mom came in as she had to leave in little time and get dressed up well before that. A feeling kept troubling her, she had forgotten something and she kept running all around the house figuring out what it could be. She finally gave up and went ahead. She did not realise, in the process of making herself believe that she could go along and be happy by seeing the world through his eyes she had left a lot of herself back with him.

Being Prejudice

Earth is as much mine as is yours! Humans on earth are so insignificant, but the pride carried is so heavy and tedious that they tend to forget everyone is equally important.

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Let’s start with one of the very famous discoveries made by Galileo Galilee. He made careful observations and promoted heliocentric theory by Nicolaus Copernicus. There by the church declared him to be apostate. Heliocentric books were banned and Galileo was ordered to refrain from holding, teaching or defending heliocentric ideas. (Galileo was actually given permission to bring out the facts with a few restrictions by Pope VII, But Galileo could not adhere to that and resulted in his trial and was sent to house imprisonment.) Galileo did not discuss regarding the theory there after. So did that refrain the earth from going around the Sun and being just one of the many planets?

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TV since its inception has had to face a lot of negative opinions including psychological effects, health effects and alleged dangers. And with the growing popularity of television, the quote “I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity, the world will only have a generation of idiots” By Einstein (Not sure as there no substantive evidence that Einstein made this statement) became equally famous. And from there on television was nicknamed an Idiot Box! This quote has been very flexible and is found to be attached with any new technology that has been successful in gaining the attention of masses.

People also claimed that one would stop reading much as television would absorb all time and attention! But what followed is history, Books actually gained fame and still continues to be our best friend. Though TV has evolved big time, but pleasure that reading gives us cannot experienced elsewhere. Of course reading a book has now changed to reading on Kindle or Watt pad, but reading still exists.

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Today all angry discussions are about gay marriages, going to mars, pro-life, Mobile phones, ISIS, Trump, etc. It is like all of a sudden people just forgot that around five years back all talks were about Global warming and the movies that kept rekindling the spark of disastrous thoughts. 2012 (the ultimate action adventure Hollywood movie) had given us real high hopes of experiencing Noah’s Ark story with ultra-modern amenities. Which means you never know what might happen tomorrow.

Some predictions and struggles turn out to be true and for the good, is it not rude to shove up our opinions onto others and believe only in the very specific things we are very happy and convenient with. Why are we so negative and suppress anything, we feel can bring in an uprising. Why does everything have to bother and irritate us. Why can’t we live and let live?

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The latest of them all is Jio Lyf!!! Seriously the bestest of all marketing source is word of mouth and of course WhatsApp. Patience is a rare virtue! And so never in our human life have we showed enough patience for one to come up with something and then give them enough time to prove themselves. We are so happy in our comfort zones that we knock off anything that is new and would second anyone who would initiate a rebel against everything that is not involved in our comfort zone. Haa, that is the easiest thing to do!

Instead why not encourage new thoughts, support your fellow beings, give them an ear and a little time. Why not step out of our comfort zone and see what the world has to offer. Can we keep our prejudice at distance and not come to conclusions and create a complete confusion? Insecurity and inferiority complexes should be kept at bay, then the world would have so many new inventions and discoveries to enjoy!

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Accidental Truth

After a friend of mine met with an accident I was more drawn towards articles that would give me insights regarding the Road accidents that occur in our very country. Until now I assumed that the Bikers and the Auto wallas are the prime reason for most of the accidents that take place but no! It is us pedestrians that walk our way to different destinations that cause most of the accidents. Now here I would like to add my definition to the word Pedestrians, absolutely restricted to my country: So Pedestrians would involve us human beings, Cows and Of course our respected Menaka Gandhi’s favorite pet- Dogs! Also let me make it very clear that no satire is intended here as Cows and Dogs are more taken care of and are more safe than any of the commoners in India. So everything said is definitely with utmost respect!

Statistics by National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) Traffic Safety Facts states that 11% of transport (disregarding miles traveled) happens by foot, but pedestrians are involved in 13% of vehicle-related fatalities. But here of course NHTSA would have very conveniently disregarded the contribution of our Cattle, cats and dogs (by not including them in the statistics). NHTSA should not forget that they too have a very strong political support, is not a death in their community more important than ours’?

It is wonderful to see them living a thug life! Coming back to the accident that my friend met with, on his way back from his office as usual. Like us all he was also in no hurry to reach home- but of course happy that the day was coming to an end and that he could reward himself with the bestest of sleep ever for all the work he did all day long. Absolutely enjoying the “me time” that he gave to himself, he suddenly saw a dog like figure jump in front of the bike and backed off. But my friend with the fear of being beaten up by bunch of people who belongs to no political group and get vanished completely after beating up anybody, who they suspect might have hurt a four-legged creature; gave a sudden brake! All was fine, and in that fraction of second as he gasped “Bach gaya” (“Saved”), with a thrust from the back side, he flew in the air and landed into a puddle of muck. Not having a clue of what just happened he tried to make sure he is alive and is intact in one piece.

By the time he could make sure of his existence an angry young man rushed towards him, shouted at him, cursed him for being ahead of him, for not informing him before he used his breaks, for riding bike at night, for his existence on this planet and anything he could have thought of at that point of time and fumed back into his car and left as if all the burden on this earth was on his shoulders and If he didn’t reach in time the entire universe would rumble down, the emotion he missed was of guilt of hitting his car on to his bike.

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My friend luckily safe landed into that pool and did not suffer any major injury. But that stupid four-legged creature did not even want to cross the road, what was it trying to do? Play Peek-A-Boo? Now whom do we approach for such incidents and to whom can we complain against the four-legged creature? The police treat all these cases as road accidents and maintain no separate record.

If you cannot provide a solution at least do not interfere the way, we get our things done. A famous Malayalam proverb states – Neither will the Dog eat Grass nor will it allow Cow to eat it.

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Not IN lOvE

A job that makes me sick every morning I get up. The only thing that helped me out of bed was the thought of coming back to bed by night. After all the struggle of trying to snatch myself off the clutches of dreamy sleepy state I end up getting dressed only to be standing at Mira Road station, listening to the sound of Arijith and fancying someone singing for me the same way. And arrives the train, heart starts to pump a bit faster. The train already filled with people hanging out as though they were born to be traveling this way. I too had to make my way in, trying to make gap to through the healthy angry figures. And finally begins my day with small wars that I fight with all my might that it leaves very little strength in me to face the remaining catastrophe at work.

As every other day I reach my office, a very small space just enough to fit in ourselves. This small space actually motivates us to leave on time for the actual task for which we were appointed. So actually I am a marketing personnel in a Well reputed media company. My duty in short, is to visit agencies and get revenue for my company. (Might as well term it as dignified begging and I hate my job)

On one such day on my visit to one of the agencies I noticed someone. Noticed as in noticed very carefully. There was nothing in common between me or him (about which I was quite depressed). But that image was not ready to fade away from my thoughts. And from that day onwards all my thoughts started to completely revolve around him. And the thought were not specifically romantic, I only wanted to converse, something or anything. I could not keep my thoughts to myself as they were flooding out and I had to talk about it to someone and eventually I did. My colleague, Tiara, with whom I share almost every feeling, said that the noticing that happened was infatuation and that I should try and pull myself out of it. (How I wish it was as easy as it did just seem to be)

Finally my thoughts started to cater me with troubles I never intended to have. I started to find my mornings less sleepy and dreams which actually encouraged me to get going for work. I was at the station and now I was listening to Arijith and actually paying attention to the lyrics. The healthy figures’ hanging by the train seemed to be smiling today or was it just me finding charm and grace in everything around me. I was not bothered until I was happy.

I did not know his name, neither is profession, nor anything else related to him, but I was happy in my world. NO, I was not in love, but the thoughts that I made up were just too beautiful to come true so I kept the realty at bay and only stared at him every time I saw him pass by at the agency. Everything was just perfect and it remained perfect for more than two months. And one day at the agency when I was standing and hoping to see him just pass by something unusual happened. I saw him coming straight to me, I tried waking myself up from my thoughts, but it was not me, he came straight up to me and leaned a little just so my words would not go unheard and be picked by him without a miss;

“Hey, hi.. How are you?” He asked so politely that I was trying to figure out whether he was being polite only to know why I had been staring at him for long or whether he was just genuinely interested in knowing what my problem was.

“I am fine, actually you work here right? What profile? do you handle any account here?” Out of utter nervousness these are the only dumb questions I could gather and ask.

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“Yes in the creative team. What is your name?” and I just suddenly realised I could have just ended my previous interrogation only by asking him his name.

“Tessa, and you?”

“Charlie, ok it was very nice to meet you” and he left and I just stood staring at him vanishing from the scene. There was so much I wanted to ask. I did not even shake hands with him! But why was I getting so hyper? I did not want to talk in the first place. Whatever my plan was, now I only want to talk to him and know everything about him. I had an achievement to be happy about, I knew his name! I knew what name I am supposed to call him! And my phone beeped, a friend request on FB. What was I supposed to do next? Accept it? Will I portray myself as a desperate woman? Should I not? Will I portray myself as an arrogant woman? Before I could finish making my decision I had already accepted the request and the very next moment we were chating.

By the time I had reached home we were talking as if we were friends for more than a decade.

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Thoughts on finger tips!

Wondering on how to fill and complete my first blog ever. In an office where I have joined a month back but have still no clue on what position I am exactly working on. This is an US based company and may be it is the culture there to first recruit any random people and then try to figure out what that person is actually really very good at and them keep them for that particular talent or kick their ass out of the office for their uselessness.

Being from Mumbai makes it really difficult to be at a low paced place. By the way I am in Ahmedabad now, shifted here after I got married the cutest guy in the attire of a rude cold person I have ever met. Initially the low pace was kind of very impressive. Get up when u want, brush when you want, no trains to catch, no buses to run after, cook mostly veg which takes not more than an hour. But after a while I was bored from the vacation mode and the boredom seems to continue.

I made it a point to be independent because I like to buy things and giving explanation for each and everything to be bought just spoils all the fun of shopping. So I have landed in this Company.  But Identity crisis is something I have always found difficult to be dealt with, but this one is huge. When my in-laws ask me what my role in the Company is, I rattle out some stupid things which comes right down from the identity crisis that i am dealing with. What am I doing here? Basically started out to keep myself occupied and have save my bank account from going below the required balance. Though the later is working out but I have not been able to do the first part.

Things might take time and fall in its place and just hope to not be the one kicked out for being of no use. So I will pretend that I am really busy and start with something really cool and beneficial, I will start writing blogs. Instead of being on constant war with myself with the very reason of my existence in this office I will pour it all out and might as well share it.

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